So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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