Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
