I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
