WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
