I didn't shave. On purpose
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
