oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
