do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
