the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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