I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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