One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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