so explain again why im purple
no
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
