don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Such a big mess for such a small penis
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
