I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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