Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
