Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
