so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
