woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
