Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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