I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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