My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
