i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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