Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
