That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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