I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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