thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
