I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
