Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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