his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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