yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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