my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
