OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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