i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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