She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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