apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
