his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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