i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
