is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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