I'll bet she douches with gravy.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
