super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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