Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
