is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
nutella sex= disaster
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
