Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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