i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
