I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
