I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
