When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
