yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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