my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
