Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
