I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
