Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
