try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
