i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
